I’m affected by a disease called, “negativity”.
Without thought or desire, in days of torment, my body tends to unconsciously produce negativity in various forms.
They may be produced as thoughts, physiological symptoms, movements, or moods.
It is very difficult to outweigh this even though I am known to be a natural optimist. Reason being is because I have been living behind a mask that hides many facts.
My life hasn’t been all that great for almost 3 years; I have been missing my dad since then. Acknowledging that my life isn’t easy has been by far the most difficult to bear with. All the years I have lived I have been keen to have my plans ruined with what life offers to me first. It is as if I have no choice or no power to use my free will.
There has almost been very little to be happy about, to the point that my natural optimism has disappeared completely. Thus, my self-esteem, faith, and anxiety have gotten worse and worse as the days pass.
Today I learned that my disease has almost taken over me completely and I am in desperate need of a cure. Even though I almost gave up today, I had to focus myself in blocking everything away to feel good again…