Shake your head girl with your ponytail...it reminds me when we were young...
Sometimes I forget how much I push myself day after day. Stress after stress, I hear things like, “just don’t think about it” or “you just need to sleep”. Truth is, I need more than this. I sometimes find myself wondering how much the people around me know about the work I put into my every day living.
I wake up every day from 7AM-8AM, I check my emails and read the news. This hour I plan my whole day, while I eat breakfast. From 8AM-11AM I attend meetings and perform errands for my business. From 11AM-12PM I purchase materials or meet new clients. From 12PM-1PM I eat and catch any rest I can, but often I find myself doing errands for my home. From 1PM to 10PM I work with Apple. Sometimes I’ll do an hour or two of overtime. I sleep everyday around 12AM or 1AM; somedays I may fall asleep at 2AM or 3AM depending on how much work I have to do. Saturday I get to sleep in a bit, but it is the only day of the week where my mornings can be used to catch up or get ahead in my work. Sundays, I wake up at 6AM to get to church for my bishopric meeting at 7AM, then another meeting at 7:30AM, then sacrament meeting at 9AM, Sunday School at 10AM, and Priesthood meeting at 11AM… Throughout all this havoc, I catch 30-45min lectures of BA classes online, where my assignments consist of reading and reports.
Above all this comes my responsibilities. My family, my girlfriend, and my education… these three are placed above me. I hardly find time for myself. The worst part is that I seem to be pressured by all three almost consistently. I feel like I don’t reach expectations set by them. I hardly rest, and now my body is taking a toll once again. When did I forget to be selfish?.. All because I want to keep satisfying others day after day. I don’t remember the last “thank you” or special day just for me… then again I am just a man, so, maybe I shouldn’t expect these things from anyone but myself.
Fuck.@1 day ago